Well Done Holly
You've done it again.
you've pushed yet another person away and why? cause you're a fucking grumbling bitch.
Adam tells me i've been slagging him off behind his back. Which, as far as i'm aware I haven't done since new years when I was having a shit night and technically spent new years crossing a road with some junkie. The past couple of months with him have been great! I was a bit hurt he decided to spend valentines with his mates but I just said ok, and let it be. He bought me gorgeous choccs anyways. And then out of the blue - bam. I don't even know who I've been slagging him off to! I dont talk or see anyone.
I miss him.
I've spent the past few days in tears and i've stayed in my room. I stink. I just want to run away now. Without him there's nothing left for me round here. I might go get a train tomorrow and just leave. Don't know even how long for. Just everything reminds me of him. Walking round wrexham I saw hundreds of his tags.. ones that had obviously been there some time but decided to jump out at me even more yesterday.
I just dont know what to do.
Comments
would a hug help a little?
i'm sure it's gonna be fine Hols. Did you try ring him up? He must have summt going on if he's not realizing you didn't do anything!
love yous and you're always welcome to come over here. any time. i could even tag some bronxville million dollar houses if you'd like.
Knowing you're alive makes me feel a lot better actually. My emails have been bouncing back. So you may be getting a call off teh chels asking how the hell you are :P
I've text him.. I don't want to be a pathetic lump of girl on the phone to him. He has told me what it's down to though.. I told Ed how we'd been sharing the chocs and that the plastic ring in the cupcake was too small and he replied something along the lines of "a whole cupcake.. Chivalry is so alive and well!" and "first bite huh, don't spose he choked on the plastic heart?" aaand "you should place that ring somewhere intimately personal to him, he'll soon learn".
"how come all the nice girls are with gits?"
this is all his side. I said the cupcake was heavely (it really was! so so moist and tons of chocolate icing on top!) and the chocs were divine (its hurts to eat them they're so sweet <3) but I have no recollection that I slated any of it. and yeah si and ed think i'm too good for him but fuck it. he makes me endless cups of tea and the best bacon sandwich around. I don't want anything else.
on the downside, I have now gotten addicted to Making The Band 3 and Flavor Of Love (the latter more so!!! I'm even considering buying the box set!)
So, Ina the lost love of my life, tell me how things are going and stuff :)
yeah as if chels is not even really talking to me. we haven't met up once. we talked once or twice on the phone.i dunno but i hate bugging people about meeting up with me.. i know that's what the americans do but shit i'm european. leave me alone.so i dunno what i'm gonna do on that front..
awww you gots a ring in a cupcake??how fucking cute is that! what else is going on in your life? and yurs all the nice girls are with wankers but that's what it is, really. of course you are too fucking good but even if he just makes you stay sane and feel good inside every once in a while that's better than going back to yer hole, innit. tell you whaaaat though, when i leave this place in a couple of months i'll get us a flat somewhere you wanna be so you can be a twat to him some days tooooo :P ( which i'm sure you are somedays arentcha :PPPP <33333333333333333333 ) it's all gonna be good though, he lurves you doesn't he?
see.and that's exactly why i and you are meant for eachother. because flavor of love is just on and on tuesday nights what makes me smile is DAAAANIIITEEEY KAAAAANe. specially aubrey. she's my fave. GHETTO WHITE GIRL YO. hehe wait till you see Rock of love though. gonna cherish that one.
the thing is, there is nothing going on. there really isn't. i wish i had something cool to tell you. last night we went out for pubs and i am now insured with the car so i can actually drive which is gonna be balistic. i play hopscotch and we have themes of theweek which was "circus" last week and i actually enjoy those things. nuts isn't it!! it makes me less bitter to be with those kids. i've never seen a two year old who can sit through two hours of story reading. it's lame, i know. exhausting, too but oh my. i met this girl Manuela ( fun huh like the ex girl ) and i get vibes off her but i'm not the least attracted to her, she's quite a stunner though.. dunno.i met all these dudes in the bars, too. american guys are a bit of a joke though!!! i had no idea... dunno. the most draining thing is that i don't know anybody i can really click with. i mostly hang out with manuela.who is fun and we sing alanis morisette in the car too loud and we're awful.. but she's not you.y'know?
It's always good to have someone to shout alanis lyrics with though y'know? but yeah, american guys are a bit... special? The thought of you driving over there is insane though!!! That's gotta be the scariest thing ever!
hell yeah we have to get a flat!! I'd love that too much :)
Can't believe chels hasn't taken you under her wing and forced you out. psht. Get out there and have fun! ok? just a little bit mind. don't over do it.
Sorry this is a short one, i've gotta get the bus in 30 mins and i'm not even dressed yet. naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeedddddddd babes!!!